I used to binge eat or buy lots of things I didn't need or, if I'm honest, really even want. It was a destructive coping skill, one I have since been fortunate enough to (mostly) rid myself of through a combination of therapy and community and a lot of work. Back then, when I was … Continue reading fire
some words about words
I'm wrapping up part of my social work program, which meant saying goodbye to some people today. As I was leaving and giving people hugs a few of them said things like "you're going to be such a great social worker!" and "you're going to change the world, I know it!" These are just the … Continue reading some words about words
I originally posted this on Instagram, but I liked it enough that I thought I'd repost it here. Part of my disordered eating ~journey~ has included learning to counter the destructive impulses I have around food— ones I learned and practiced for over 20 years. Sometimes, like when you’re a grad student or teacher with … Continue reading
this is 28
(i) I am on a train on my way to get Italian ice, my favorite Chicago dessert, a treat for my birthday. We are stopped because of mysterious mechanical difficulties (#chicago). I have two tote bags with me because I need to buy some groceries on my way to night class, but the combination … Continue reading this is 28
transgenerational memory
or, "sometimes your brain does weird shit when your grandparents were refugees" There's this video floating that's been floating around the internet for a few years called "The Most Shocking Second a Day Video". The title is terrible and click-bait-y, but the video is incredibly well-made. Its purpose is to show the trauma war has … Continue reading transgenerational memory
2017 in review
I'm eating breakfast right now. I was starting the first paragraph of this post when I spilled my entire bowl of oatmeal on my left thigh (though luckily saving most of it with my shirt). The oatmeal is cold because I put frozen fruit in it- not really the warm treat I wished for myself … Continue reading 2017 in review
Before I forget
Before I have the benefit of hindsight and, what I hope is the blessed relief that comes from knowing what happened during the Donald Trump presidency, I want to make a note of what it's like right now. It is December 15, 2017. I am awake at midnight, even though I should be waking up … Continue reading Before I forget
Therapy is revolutionary: a short story in two acts
I. Halloween 2014 I finished off three pounds of jelly beans for the second time in October. II. Halloween 2017 I had four fun-sized kit-kat bars and a York peppermint patty and thought to myself “well, this is plenty”. Then I ate dinner and did something else and didn’t think about the large bowl of … Continue reading Therapy is revolutionary: a short story in two acts
Back to School #22
It was a long and hectic summer. Parts of it were wonderful, parts of it were frustrating and stressful, and parts of it were bittersweet. In reflecting back on what I did and how I've grown in the past two months, I find it somewhat hard to believe that it's still the same year, and … Continue reading Back to School #22
Work, Women, and Food: More Words on a Tired Subject
One of the most maddening things I've experienced since starting eating disorder recovery is the frequency in which people, especially women, put down themselves and their bodies in everyday conversation. I've taken part in this apparently normalized activity myself, but it was only when I sought treatment that I realized how pervasive– and impossible to … Continue reading Work, Women, and Food: More Words on a Tired Subject
weary traveler 